Gracey Mansion entrance photo, 4 May 1939

[notes from around 14 Aug 1941?]   I can still recall how beautiful Gracey Mansion appeared, the first time I saw it.  Even then it was sadly overgrown with rosebushes and weeds, but it seemed to capture my soul nevertheless.   Yes, at first I thought I hated it, but I've become so much more sensible since then. And now I realize that it truly is my home. Perhaps it always has been. It's as if the house wants me. But, oh, the garden! George will not hire a gardener since the death of his cousin, Huet Gilbert.  Huet was the gardener until he was accused of Lillian's murder. Then Huet died and I'm not certain what to think of that.   Despite the well-stocked potting shed at the farthest corner of the property, George says he will not have me tending the garden, not even to pick a few flowers for the table.   He says that flowers remind him of the funeral of his late wife, Lillian.    The house seems rather cheerless, as if nothing could grow within its walls.  A few flowers could make such a difference, but I dare not cross George on anything right now. When I mentioned that I'd visited the potting shed, George flew into a rage and seemed to pound upon the ballroom organ all night, playing Bach fugues somewhat out-of-key.  He would  not explain the inordinate amount of poison in the shed.  I know that arsenic is useful to control rats, but I have seen no evidence of pests.    George's uncle, my cousin Asa Gilbert, works as a handyman here at the Mansion.  Cousin Asa says that there  have never been rodents at Gracey Mansion for the twenty years that he's been here.   Though his son, Huet, was the gardener, Cousin Asa also cannot explain the jars and jars of arsenic.   Asa mentioned something about another gardener, Eddy, but no one seems willing to talk about him. I am troubled by George's apparent fits of temper, and the many inexplicable things that I have found at Gracey Mansion. I doubt that my dearest Mama and Papa knew that Cousin George had these dark moods, when they suggested this marriage. I can hardly believe his fits of temper, myself. I hope that life turns cheerier soon.

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